Phase 1: Recruitment
I was an unemployed college student struggling to pay the bills, taking out regular loans from the Bank of Mom & Dad, and desperately searching for a job that paid me remotely what I thought my time was worth (i.e. more than minimum wage) when I stumbled on the ad from The Cable Company advertising an hourly wage I thought was irresistible and a list of prerequisites that my resume could soar over. It would have taken a team of linebackers to hold me back from pressing the send button on my e-mail application. I couldn't believe I was actually applying for what had been my dream job. It wouldn't be long before I realized exactly why the ad appeared so appealing and exactly why they were offering pay rates that college kids would pee their pants over, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Only a few days passed before I got an e-mail back from the head of the HR department directing me to The Cable Company's website to complete the official online application to work in corporate America's armpit. Another few days passed and another mysteriously cheerful HR representative called me to do a telephone interview. With each progressing step in the interview process I grew more and more excited. I was finally going to earn some money. I could get a real bank account and pay back my loans to The Bank of Mom & Dad. I felt my stomach drop through my butt when Miss HR told me that in addition to my hourly compensation I would also benefit from commission incentives based on sales performances.
“Once training is complete, in addition to the hourly rate listed in the ad the average rep earns biweekly commissions of anywhere from $200 to $1000 . Does this sound like something you'd be interested.”
I hesitated a moment. The numbers she spewed forth seemed so unbelievable that it almost set off the red flag Kirby vac salesman scam alert in my head. I staved the warning off however with a brief self talk about how The Cable Company is a reputable, well-known, national company.
“Of course!” I replied. “This position definitely sounds like something I'd be interested in. What's the next step?”
I finished the telephone interview and scheduled a time to come in for some pre-employment testing. I was really unsure of what to expect going in for the test because I'd never previously participated in the corporate hiring robot mill. I arrived 15 minutes early for my testing time slot. I was so nervous and excited. Because of my eagerness to please and my underestimation of how time managed this company is I ended up waiting those extra 15 minutes anxiously in the front lobby. When it was my turn to test HR Representative number three came to usher me to my testing booth. She showed me how to use the head set on the computer and how to adjust the volume, move the mouse, and change the size of the screen. I thought she was joking at first. Who would apply for a job in a call center that didn't possess at least these basic computer “skills?” When the automated test started I realized of course that none of it was a joke at all. The test took me through different sections meant to measure my call center ability, customer service knowledge, logic/reasoning, and business aptitude—or as I would call all of it—common sense.
